What do I know of that pain? Yes, I have two beautiful, healthy children...now. I lived so much of my life struggling to make my dream of having a family become a reality. I feel guilt at times reading those posts, being glad it's not me who is filling those shoes anymore. I know how much it hurt. It's hard to even think back on those times. I was basically obsessed with wanting a child to love, that I didn't feel like I was really living my life to its fullest, for so very many years. I was so focused on the goal of having a family or I was going through another excruciating loss, that I was miserable so much of the time. I felt like I would never have what everyone else did.
It's hard for people to understand what it's like unless you've been there. I've been there. I wouldn't wish it on anyone to know that kind of hurt. I'm glad there are online support groups and blogs that can help in dealing with the heartbreaking journey that infertility and loss brings. Find support in others going through the same types of situations. I wish I would have reached out to others when I was having such a hard time, maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone and hopeless. I wish I wouldn't have been so hard on and demanding of myself. I wish I would have focused more on the little things to find enjoyment in life.
I'm so thankful that we didn't give up on our dream of having a family, but I want to send the message to those struggling, to be good to yourself and to each other. Find happiness in all the places you can. I know it's a hard thing to do when you are hurting, but you deserve joy in your life whenever you can grab it. I think of myself when I was going through all of these things, and how I would have reacted to someone with two children trying to give me advice about what I was feeling. I know that I wouldn't have taken it well, what does she know?